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This joke's category: Politics Jokes
The Presidential election was too close to call. Neither the Republican candidate nor the Democratic candidate had enough votes to win. There was much talk about ballot recounting, court challenges, etc., but a week-long ice fishing competition seemed the sportsmanlike way to settle things. The candidate that caught the most fish at the end of the week would win the election.

After much of back and forth discussion, it was decided that the contest take place on a remote frozen lake in northern Minnesota. There were to be no observers present, and both men were to be sent out separately on this isolated lake and return at 5 P.M. with their catch for counting and verification by a team of neutral parties.

At the end of the first day, Barack Obama returned to the starting line and he had ten fish. Soon, John McCain returned and had no fish. Well, everyone assumed he was just having another ‘bad hair’ day or something and hopefully, he would catch up the next day.

At the end of the 2nd day Obama came in with 20 fish and McCain came in again with none.

That evening, Sarah Palin got together secretly with McCain and said, "John, I think Barack is a low-life, cheatin’ son-of-a-gun. I want you to go out tomorrow and don’t even bother with fishing. Just spy on him and see just how he is cheating." The next night, after Barack returned with 50 fish, Sarah said to John, "Well, tell me, how is he cheating?"

McCain replied, "Sarah, you’re not going to believe this, but he’s cutting holes in the ice!"
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Don't read your joke
The best jokes told are the ones not read from a script. Try to memorize and practice your joke before telling it. If you can tell it without looking at notes, it will sound much more natural. NOTE - No one really says, "he replied" or "she responded." These are purely written joke phrases. Get rid of them!
Get into character
Change your voice or accent for each of the characters in your joke and try making some impromptu sound effects to accentuate the story.
Embellish
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Go retro with a Land Line
If you don't have a great cell signal, or a high quality cordless phone, you may be better off going old-school with a landline.
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