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This joke's category: Bar Jokes
A man walks into a bar with a huge alligator on a leash. He walks over to the bar, and orders a beer.

The bartender says, "Sorry sir. You can't bring that alligator in here! It's a dangerous animal, and you're scaring all of the patrons!

True enough, the man looked around, and noticed that everyone was standing on the tables, looking very nervous.

"But wait!" he cried, "this alligator is tame! It wouldn't hurt anyone!" However, the bartender is adamant. "If," the man continues, "I can prove that this alligator is not vicious, can he
stay?"

"Well, I guess so," says the bartender, "however, you're going to
have a devil of a time proving to everyone in here that that alligator is tame!"

The man smiles, and leans over the alligator. "Ralph!" he shouts, "Sit up!" With that, he beats the alligator on the head with his fist "BANG BANG BANG." And the alligator rears up on its tail.

"Ralph, open your mouth! BANG BANG BANG." And the alligator opened it's huge mouth wide, revealing row upon row of gleaming white teeth.
The man pulls out his wang, and lays it in the alligators mouth, as the entire bar crowd gasps. "Ralph! Close your mouth, but DON'T
BITE! BANG BANG BANG." As the man pummels the alligator on the head, the giant mouth slowly closes, and stops juuuussttt short of
biting the guys dick off. The crowd sighs, and the man says, "Ralph, open your mouth! BANG BANG BANG!" and the alligators mouth opens wide
again.

"There," says the man to the crowd, " now would anyone else like to try this?"

A girl in the back says, "Yeah, I'll try, but only if you promise not to hit me on the head so hard."
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Top Joke-Telling Tips

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Don't read your joke
The best jokes told are the ones not read from a script. Try to memorize and practice your joke before telling it. If you can tell it without looking at notes, it will sound much more natural. NOTE - No one really says, "he replied" or "she responded." These are purely written joke phrases. Get rid of them!
Get into character
Change your voice or accent for each of the characters in your joke and try making some impromptu sound effects to accentuate the story.
Embellish
Joke-telling is storytelling. Use details (place names, character descriptions, etc) to make your joke sound more like a real story that you are recounting to a friend. Details draw the audience in and disguise the impending, and hopefully hilarious, twist ending.
Go retro with a Land Line
If you don't have a great cell signal, or a high quality cordless phone, you may be better off going old-school with a landline.
Don't distort
Don't hold the phone too close to your mouth and don't yell. You'd be surprised how sensitive telephone microphones are.
Record it again
If your train of thought derails halfway through the joke, re-record it. Umm's and missed cues should not make it into a Comic Wonder-worthy performance.